Life. Design. Identity.

I Design. I get paid to design and find a ton of satisfaction from it. In finding a craft that is both fulfilling and challenging; it is easy to see my value, worth, and identity through the lens of my design. However, this isn’t the truest thing about who I am. The struggle becomes more confusing when I begin to mask my insecurities with good things such as wanting to learn and grow.

Early into processing I can already begin to see my motivation becoming warped. When people respond to something in a particular way or I compare my work to others my heart begins to change. Insecurities begin to grow and suddenly nothing is kerned well enough, concepted deeply enough, or liked enough. A good design to grow turns into a need to be better than, a beautiful satisfaction becomes unrest, and a reflection of God’s character as creator becomes self focused.

There is so much to learn and grow in regarding my own heart with this so my conclusion may be premature but this is what I know. I am known, loved, and valued by God not according to the work I produce but according to what He has done. This will be a battle in my heart every time I start a project. I will need to fight to rest in that satisfaction and not operate out of insecurities.

London Calling

Joelle and I have been a part of our church, Reality LA, for 9+ years and have seen God do incredible work in the lives of people in Los Angeles. Our church has the privilege and joy to send our founding pastor, Tim Chaddick and his family to London to plant a church there, and part of that sending process is a prayer tour in London happening at the end of July. We are honored to be a part of the team that will go and learn more about the city, the people in it, to pray for God to do a new work in London. Our heart’s are also to encourage and refresh the Chaddicks, who moved there at the beginning of this year in preparation for this church plant.

We are aware that this trip could easily become 100 American kids running around London, but as team leads we want to strive to be intentional with each moment. If we desire to see positive change, it is not going to happen with our American theology and our liturgical rhythms. Rather, we want to engage in the culture and understand the needs of London and pray for the city informed by the reality of what is there. In this posture we know that God will begin to do a work we could never do by our strength.